The best of 2012.

Well 2012, you've been a fruitful year for me. Lets rekindle the love you gave, shall we?

JANUARY.
I'd like to call this month the "Things happen for a reason" month. Surprise surprise simula palang! but still I went on my positive vibes thinking there will be something good in all of this. Plus I am grateful for this is my birthday month and I was pretty much busy with school duties. Keme lang sa heartache, mas masaya sa mga friends! Ending ng month na to ay puro party!

"Life is as grand as you make it."

FEBRUARY.
The only love I gave/recieved from this month was the LOVE OF STUDIES. Puros major exams and duties ang month na to. But I was sure Im not never gonna flunk another exam. EVER AGAIN! So ayun. todo kayod sa pag study and all. Konting distraction on the side pero keri lang! Lol.

"Dream without fear, Love without limits." ----ULUL.

MARCH.
Passed all the subjects I needed to graduate from Nursing School! Tears of joy. Thats all I had the day they released the list of students who well. needed more exams to go through.

"If at first you dont succeed, try and try again." (Ramdam kong kinuha to sa kanta ni Aliyah!)

APRIL.
 A busy month filled with blessings. Grand Duty. Grad Ball. Graduation. Birthdays! Bondings! Parties! Vacations!

"Don't dwell on the negative, optimism is key."

MAY.
Study. Study. Study. Drink. Study.Study. Emo. Study. Drink. Study. Eat.Study.
ALL FOR THE LOVE OF LOVE AND THE BOARD EXAM <3

"Love the life you live."

JUNE.
"seriously" studying for the upcoming Nursing Licensure Exam! Went to different churches. SRA days. Bittersweet memories. Found comfort with J :)

"Make more opportunities than you find."

JULY.
Since the board exams were over. Nonstop fun and adventure were made this month. Trying to get our minds off the results and all.

"Everything will be alright."

AUGUST.
My first time to go out of the country and made real special cause its with my college buddies. PASSING THE BOARD EXAM!!!! All the hard work finally paid off!!! 

"Dont count the days, make the days count."

SEPTEMBER.
This month went by so fast I had no idea it already ended. Full of thanksgiving parties. I started reviewing again but this time for my NCLEX exam.

"Act as if what you do makes a difference."

OCTOBER.
Last month for NCLEX review, will resume on Jan. Pap's birthday month. Reunion with High school friends.

"It doesnt matter how slowly you go, as long as you dont stop."

NOVEMBER.
Good news from up above. He gave me a chance to be closer to my family. Felt blessed.

"The best dreams happen when you're awake."

DECEMBER.
 I have this theory on myself that everytime this season starts, something bad unfortunate happens to me. I mean I think I'm jinx or something. Dont get me wrong, I love this month but it doesnt seem to love me back :( This month I lost something in me which was really hard for me to bear and I hope eventually would come back. Keeping the faith.

"Everyday is a new beginning, take a deep breath and start again."

My 2012 may have been a shitty ending , but there's still great things that happened there and should be grateful for. I guess, I just need to remind myself that everyday. So here's to a better, and stronger 2013! May blessings be showered and shared for the greater good :) 





S.







  

30 percent recovering.

Today, I'm thankful that I didn't shed one tear. I guess my lacrimal ducts got busted from all the crying I did yesterday. I am less sad now; but that's because I made everyone in the house not talk about it and if there's one thing I know when you live with boys, is that YOU CANT NOT BE STRONG. I still strongly isolate myself from the world. I don't want my friends be infected with my sadness. I can't not be happy when I'm with them, I know they're not used to that and they;ll just worry. Plus, in the end we'll just talk about it more and I don't want that. I'm trying to keep myself happy busy through little things. Well, I said I try. 70% more.

iCry.

Right about 10 hours ago I may be the saddest person on this planet and this may be the saddest blog I'd have to write this month. So bear with me on this, for I am unable to talk because I'll just end up crying. And that shit aint pretty.

You know the feeling when you just start to cry and cry and cry and be sad almost all day and you never seem to wanna stop? Its like every time your mind is idle it lets out a sob. It doesn't care if your in a private or public place it just had to get out. Then you try your best to just stop it and hold it in. It'll feel like swallowing a bolus of emotions and the tension on your throat will just be tighter and tighter.

According to the Mayan calendar, today, December 21st 2012, would be the end of the world. Well, much to their dismay this world certainly did not end but unfortunately, my world definitely did. This may be the most bone crushing moments I'd have to live with. I tried to be okay with it and all but it just really got me. I feel so lost right now. Like a blank canvass was given to me and stares me right in the soul to what would I have to do with my life. Starting all over again when you don't have anything to start over with.

Grief. The sorrow I feel for my dreams from running. Mourning for my slowly fading life plans. What now. What now. I gave up 10% of chunk in my life for this. Still holding on to whats left of my faith. Faith, I don't wanna lose you too. Basically, right now I just wanna be sad, cry and be alone. I just don't know for how long though.







S.

Photography pick! Jason Pierce

If you must know, I have a thing with city lights, skyscrapers, skylines and landscape photographs. Bet ko talaga yang mga ganyang bagay! Nakaka kalma kasi! Tuwang tuwa ako pag nakaka kita ako ng mga ganito sa Tumblr. Reblog agad yan! Minsan cover photo pa! Haha. Plus ako talaga yung super appreciative sa lahat ng bagay! Nature lover pati. Oh diba Maria Makiling lang ang peg! Choz!

Anyways! Eto may photograher ako na sight sa gilid gilid na todo rooftop photography din ang peg! May fear daw siya sa heights pero somehow mas napalapit daw siya sa mga rooftop photography. New Yorker ata to si kuya kasi puro New York ang surrounding! Malamang!

Jason Pierce Photography na sight ko sa Flickr! Flickr account niya! pero eto  ang website niya! AVAIL NIYO SIYA!!!

Eto mga popular photos niya!

The Chrysler Building, NY: Standing at 1,047 feet, it was the world's tallest building for 11 months before it was surpassed by the Empire State Building in 1931 (Wikipedia)

Napakanta talaga ako ng Empire state of mind ala Alicia Keys dito! 

New York Globe: Empire State Building observation deck - looking south

Bet ko to! Parang Astronaut lang ang dating ng pag picture niya dito! Choz!

NYC's skyscrapers light up the night: Night life ang peg neto! The City that never sleeps ba naman ang NY diba! 

The Grand Beekman, NYC: Gandara Park!! Labas na labas ang gold! Favorite ko pa naman ang gold! 

The City That Never Sleeps: ito na ang perfect title sa picture na itey! Asan kaya siyang building neto nagpipicture no? Baka mahulog siya! Choz!

Hurricane Sandy, Where were you?: Sa isang abandoned garage daw ito! Grabe lang si Kuya bumabaha na! Todo picture padin! Haha.

NYC Skyline with super smooth rainbow reflections: Baklang bakla! Just like me! Love it! Haha

NEW YORK CITY LIGHTNING: this is from a short but very intense storm that passed over NYC in July of 2012.  Na obsess daw si Kuya Jason sa mga lightning lightning shot simula nung bata siya! Kaya ayan! Naging Ninang niya si Storm! CHARR!!!

NYC CHINATOWN: Ghetto side ito! Gandara padin! Go for gold! 

Oh eto last na!!

LOWER PINKHATTAN & PINKLYN: Lower Manhattan and Brooklyn daw!!! Ang romantic lang diba! Naalala ko tuloy yung scene sa movie na Friends With Benefits! Yung secret place nila! Kinilig lang talaga ako kay Timberlake! Char! 

Oh ayan last na yun! Shinare ko lang to dahil isa to sa mga interests ko talaga!  At sorry kung ang bakla ng post na to! Di ko feel mag english ngayon mga teh eh! Bakla ang persona ko ngayon! So ayan. Go lang avail niyo yan!








S.

Grasping December.

Well lookie here. Its December again. I know most of you guys are very much excited for this month because... Tis' the season to be jolly, Falalalala lalalala.

Meanwhile inside my ardent cave its gonna be just a normal month. I rarely get excited about Holidays., particularly Christmas. Don't think I'm a Grinch here. I am not. I love the December weather. I love the fact that people are nice on Christmas and I love Christmas parties and gifts!

So why am I not excited you might ask... I guess maybe because the fact that as long as I can remember I have been spending my actual Christmas days alone. Yeah sure we would go to church and have Noche Buena together which would take us 2-3 hours and then off they go. After dinner they would usually go their own way. That leaves me spending the rest of the night watching sappy Christmas movies because I don't really have friends nearby to party crash.

It gets worse. 9 years ago my Mom was forced to go away. So that means my sibs and I are left with Dad. And uuuuhhhhhh... Lets just say he's not really the best dad on holidays. He gets drunk earlier than Jesus was born! So if you can imagine, not fun. Not fun at all. It doesn't end there though. Recently, my sibs left. They are with Mom now. So yes, you guessed it! That leaves me and pops! Really not fun. NOT FUN AT ALL.

So you see, I don't really have the ideal family. But its okay. I don't feel anger and I don't feel shame. I think its just the way it is. Some people are blessed with family and some are not. You know my happiest Christmas was? It was back when I thought Santa was real. Its a cliche. I know. But back then, everyone was actually happy. We were many-er. The house was full of noise. It was good  noise actually. The noise of laughing and singing and love. I'll always hold on to that memory. And I know one day my Christmas mojo will be back! ;)






S.